Everyone can tighten up their writing; even me - as Rob Beer of robbeer.com fame pointed out months ago in responding to one of my e-mails about writing tighter.
Today's post highlights some examples where reporters could have streamlined their writing by eliminating a word or two. The redundancies aren't calamitous, but everything counts when you're trying to grab and retain readers.
Example one:
Raw copy: "In addition to charging for the cost of cleaning a walk, Moorhead also imposes ... "
Changed to: "In addition to charging for the cost of cleaning a walk, Moorhead imposes ... "
I think we can agree that in addition and also mean the same thing in this sentence, so also is unnecessary.
Example two:
Raw copy: "added 55 new jobs in 2007"
Changed to: "added 55 jobs in 2007"
It stands to reason that if 55 jobs are added, they're new, so the new is unnecessary.
Example three:
Raw copy: "The rest of the addition will be used for more manufacturing space."
Changed to: "The rest of the addition will be used for manufacturing space."
More is unnecessary because the sentence already states that the rest of the addition will be used for manufacturing.
Example four:
Raw copy: "that's currently under construction"
Changed to: "that's under construction"
If it's under construction, it's current.
Example five:
Raw copy: "can take anywhere from two weeks to six months"
Changed to: "can take from two weeks to six months"
Anywhere is unnecessary.
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