Friday, February 8, 2008

15 minues (or more) of fame

Some reporters at The Forum must be anxious to get into my blog because several style mistakes crossed my desk this week. I'm confident we -- by "we," I mean me and Forum universal desk copy editors -- caught most of them before they got into the newsprint and online versions of The Forum. Here are some examples:

Example one:
Raw copy, wrong--"led several Bismarck school children"
It should be--"led several Bismarck schoolchildren"

Example two:
Raw copy, wrong--"She offers 18 different types of cake flavors, with six different types of icing and 11 different kinds of filling."
It should be--"She offers 18 types of cake flavors, with six types of icing and 11 kinds of filling.
This mistake is becoming more frequent. There is no need to write different. It's understood that when you have 18 types of cake flavors, they're different.

Example three:
Raw copy, wrong--"the group's first annual state-by-state report card"
It should be--"the group's first state-by-state-report card"
AP Stylebook says: An event (or report card in this case) cannot be described as annual until it has been held (or released in this case) at least two successive years.

Example four:
Raw copy, wrong--"The four included whole wheat, wheat bran, rye and flax seed meal."
It should be--"The four comprise whole wheat, wheat bran, rye and flax seed meal."
The AP Stylebook has a simple explanation for this style mistake: Use include to introduce a series when the items that follow are only part of the total. In this case, the four types comprise the full list, so include shouldn't be included in the sentence.

That's it for now. The next post will include more recent style mistakes.

2 comments:

rbeer said...

Should it say "comprise of"?

GoPhils said...

why "18 types of cake flavors" instead of just "18 cake flavors"?