Find the flubs

We'll be continuing with the quiz format this week.

See if you can find the flubs in these sentences. The way we think they should be written follows.
1. Please keep Jay and I posted on your progress.

2. The program serves nearly 14,000 students from 65 different countries.

3. Hannah Kampf is a salesperson for AEG Live.

4. They needed a place for the band to workout.

5. Outback is donating the food for the event.

6. Centers of Excellence is a state-wide initiative.

7. He has a reputation for being non-partisan.

1. Please keep Jay and me posted on your progress.
An easy way to remember. You wouldn't write, "Please keep I posted on your progress." You'd write, "Please keep me posted on your progress."

2. The program serves nearly 14,000 students from 65 countries.
Isn't it understood that the 65 countries are different? Different is unnecessary.

3. Hannah Kampf is a saleswoman for AEG Live.
AP style for saleswoman is the same as style for spokeswoman. Make it saleswoman or salesman, but not salesperson. Use a representative if you do not know the sex of the individual.
4. They needed a place for the band to work out.

5. Outback is donating the food.
The story was about a fundraiser at the Outback restaurant. If Outback is donating the food, it's understood that it's for the event. That means "for the event" is unnecessary.

6. Centers of Excellence is a statewide initiative.
AP Stylebook: -wide No hyphen. Some examples: citywide, nationwide, statewide, worldwide, continentwide, countrywide, industrywide.

7. He has a reputation for being nonpartisan.
AP Stylebook: non- The rules of prefixes apply, but in general no hyphen when forming a coompound that does not have special meaning and can be understood if not is used before the base word. Use a hyphen, however, before proper nouns or in awkward combinations, such as non-nuclear.

Trying something new

Thank you to everyone who responded to the question I asked in last week's post.

One of the suggestions was posting a weekly quiz, so that's what I'm going to start this week. It won't be much different from what I have been doing, but anything to shake things up, right?

Here's how it works. I'll be offering a sentence based on stories Forum copy editors have read. You're "job" is to figure out how it can be improved. Besides the original sentence, I'll also show how to fix the problem.

So let's get started.

Here are the sentences that need to be fixed:

1. The North Dakota State Fire Marshall was unable to say what started the fire.

2. At a meeting frought with references to race.

3. She turned to the internet to help her overcome grief.

4. It was the last Blimpie's in Fargo-Moorhead to remain open.

5. The company employed six full and part-time workers.

6. A resolution was approved authorizing street improvements on 8th Avenue from Highway 75 to 28th Street.

7. The council decided to purchase several right-of-ways.

Here's how the problems should be fixed:

1. The North Dakota State Fire Marshal was unable to say what started the fire.
Marshal as in fire marshal, field marshal, U.S. marshal and marshaling forces has one l. AP Stylebook: Marshal is the spelling for both the verb and the noun. Marshall is used in proper names: George C. Marshall, John Marshall, Marshall Islands.

2. At a meeting fraught with references to race.
Fraught is spelled with an a, and not an o.

3. She turned to the Internet to help her overcome grief.
Internet should be capitalized.

4. It was the last Blimpie's in Fargo-Moorhead.
Because the story is about the Blimpie's in Moorhead closing and mentioned it was the last Blimpie's in Fargo-Moorhead, it's redundant to write, "last Blimpie's in Fargo-Moorhead to remain open."

5. The company employed six full- and part-time workers.
Full-time and part-time should both be hyphenated as modifiers.

6. A resolution was approved authorizing street improvements on Eighth Avenue from Highway 75 to 28th Street.
Spell out streets and avenues under 10 when they aren't part of an address.

7. The council decided to purchase several rights of way.
AP Stylebook: right of way, rights of way.

Repeating myself

All of the examples of style errors in this week's post were made in the last seven days. And these are errors I've written about several times before, in e-mails and in this blog.

I have an important question for writers at The Forum. What can I do to get you to read these posts regularly? Obviously, because of the number of repeat errors, that isn't being done now. One suggestion is to name names. But I don't think that would go over well.

Example one:
Raw copy, wrong--"nearly hour-long hearing"
It should be--"nearly hourlong hearing"
AP Stylebook also says it's daylong, monthlong, weeklong.

Example two:
Raw copy, wrong--"coworkers of convicted"
It should be--"co-workers of convicted"

Example three:
Raw copy, wrong--"work part-time after school"
It should be--"work part time after school"

Example four:
Raw copy, wrong--"there are more than 800 Edible Arrangements franchises world-wide"
It should be--"there are more than 800 Edible Arrangements franchises worldwide"

Example five:
Raw copy, wrong--"an email and telephone scam"
It should be--"an e-mail and telephone scam"

Example six:
Raw copy, wrong--"the school board accepted the resignation"
It should be--"the School Board accepted the resignation"

Example seven:
Raw copy, wrong--"says fifth grade teacher Rob Beer"
It should be--"says fifth-grade teacher Rob Beer"

In with the old, in with the new

We have a mix of old and new style mistakes in this week's post.

First the new ones:

Example one:
Raw copy, wrong--"listed Fargo as number 24"
It should be--"listed Fargo as No. 24"

Example two:
Raw copy, wrong--"time spent playing videogames"
It should be--"time spent playing video games"

Example three:
Raw copy, wrong--"sunset clauses for all Federal programs"
It should be--"sunset clauses for all federal programs"
AP Stylebook: federal Use a capital letter for the architectural style and for corporate or governmental bodies that use the word as part of their formal names: the Federal Trade Commission. Lowercase when used as an adjective to distinguish something from state, county, city, town or private entities: federal assistance, federal court, the federal government, a federal judge.

Example four:
Raw copy, wrong--"message book and bible"
It should be--"message book and Bible"
AP Stylebook: Bible Capitalize, without quotation marks, when referring to the Scriptures in the Old Testament or the New Testament. Capitalize also related terms such as the Gospels, Gospel of St. Mark, the Scriptures, the Holy Scriptures. Lowercase biblical in all uses. Lowercase bible as a nonreligious term: My dictionary is my bible.

Here are some repeat mistakes:

Example one:
Raw copy, wrong--"since the mid 1990's"
It should be--"since the mid-1990s"
AP Stylebook: Use a hyphen when mid- precedes a figure: mid-30s.
AP Stylebook: Use an s without an apostrophe to indicate spans of decades or centuries: the 1890s, the 1800s.

Example two:
Raw copy, wrong--"fines for not wearing seatbelts"
It should be--"fines for not wearing seat belts"

Example three:
Raw copy, wrong--"requiring multi-national corporations to pay more Minnesota taxes"
It should be--"requiring multinational corporations to pay more Minnesota taxes"

Example four:
Raw copy, wrong--did not return a voicemail"
It should be--did not return a voice mail"

A couple of style points to remember

We have a couple of new style mistakes in this this week's post. And we were doing so well.

Example one:
Raw copy, wrong--"emerging as frontrunners"
It should be--"emerging as front-runners"
This isn't in the AP Stylebook; it's found in Webster's NewWorld Third.

Example two:
Raw copy, wrong--"donuts and coffee"
It should be--"doughnuts and coffee"

Example three:
Raw copy, wrong--"there are a couple changes," "We have a couple things to talk about," "there are a couple immediate things" and "the next couple days."
It should be--"there are a couple of changes," We have a couple of things to talk about," "there are a couple of immediate things" and "the next couple of days."
AP Stylebook says: couple of The of is necessary. Never use a couple tomatoes or a similar phrase. The phrase takes a plural verb in constructions such as: A couple of tomatoes were stolen.

Example four:
Raw copy, wrong--"on his 11-member cabinet"
It should be--"on his 11-member Cabinet"
AP Stylebook: Capitalize references to a specific body of advisers heading executive departments for a president, king, governor, etc. The capital letter distinguishes the word from the common noun meaning cupboard, which is lowercase.

Example five:
Raw copy, wrong--"a great and well-respected Senator"
It should be--"a great and well-respected senator"

Example six:
Raw copy, wrong--"a Bush Administration budget"
It should be--"a Bush administration budget"

Another week of repeats

It seems I'll always have repeat style mistakes to write about, so here goes.

Example one:
Raw copy, wrong--"well-represented at the capitol"
It should be--"well-represented at the Capitol"
AP Stylebook: Capitalize U.S. Capitol and the Capitol when referring to the building in Washington. Follow the same practice when referring to state capitols. Capital is the city where a seat of government is located. Do not capitalize.

Example two:
Raw copy, wrong--"Fargo-based financial advisor"
It should be--"Fargo-based financial adviser"

Example three:
Raw copy, wrong--"county-wide economic development sales tax"
It should be--"countywide economic development sales tax"
AP Stylebook: -wide No hyphen. Some examples: citywide, nationwide, continentwide, statewide, worldwide, industrywide, countrywide.

Example four:
Raw copy, wrong--"take care of our Guardsmen"
It should be--"take care of our guardsmen"
AP Stylebook: Capitalize when referring to U.S or state-level forces, or foreign forces when that is the formal name: the National Guard, the Guard, the Iowa National Guard, Iowa's National Guard, National Guard troops. When referring to an individual in a National Guard unit, use national Guardsman: He is a National Guardsman. Lowercase guardsman when it stands alone.

Example five:
Raw copy, wrong--"a group of Fargo and Cass County citizens"
It should be--"a group of Fargo and Cass County residents"
AP Stylebook: A citizen is a person who has acquired the full civil rights of a nation either by birth or naturalization. Cities and states do not confer citizenship. To avoid confusion, use resident, not citizen, in referring to inhabitants of states and cities.

Example six:
Raw copy, wrong--"colony north of Hawley, Minn.," referring to action taken by the Clay County Board.
It should be--"colony north of Hawley"
We don't use Minnesota with Clay County. Therefore, we shouldn't use Hawley, Minn., because it's understood that the Clay County board would only take action affecting entities in Clay County.

Signs of progress

It seems as though writers have just about run out of new style mistakes, but there are still plenty of repeat style mistakes. Those are what we'll again be focusing on in this post.

Example one:
Raw copy, wrong--"Dutch Elm Disease"
It should be--"Dutch elm disease"

Example two:
Raw copy, wrong--"helping develop a separate speech and theatre department"
It should be--"helping develop a separate speech and theater department.
Use of the words theater and theatre is an issue Mark Merck wanted me to bring up a few weeks ago. It came up again last week. AP Stylebook says: theater Use this spelling unless the proper name is Theatre: Shubert Theatre. In this area, it's the Fargo Theatre.

Example three:
Raw copy, wrong--"both hotels have large multi-purpose conference rooms"
It should be--"both hotels have large multipurpose conference rooms"
I've already written in several e-mails about the AP style for multi. It doesn't hurt to have a reminder in this post: multi- The rules in prefixes apply, but in general, no hyphen. Some examples: multicolored, multimillion, multilateral, multimillionaire.

Example four:
Raw copy, wrong--"such as text, voicemail and e-mail messages"
It should be--"such as text, voice mail and e-mail messages"

Example five:
Raw copy, wrong--"bought his American coworkers"
It should be--"bought his American co-workers"
AP Stylebook: co- Retain the hyphen when forming nouns, adjectives and verbs that indicate occupation or status: co-author, co-chairman, co-defendent, co-host, co-owner, co-partner, co-pilot, co-signer, co-sponsor, co-star, co-worker.

Example six:
Raw copy, wrong--"employs 68 fulltime and 21 part-time"
It should be--"employs 68 full time and 21 part time"
AP Stylebook: part time, part-time Hyphenate when used as a compound modifier: She works part time. She has a part-time job.

Example seven:
Raw copy, wrong--"recent data suggests"
It should be--"recent data suggest"